Dreams: What I view them to be...

Dreams rarely happen for me. So, when they do happen, I always wonder what triggers that mechanism in my brain for the dreams to actually happen. Most people do not pay attention to their dreams, but they happen so rarely to me that I try to take what I just dreamed and put that into perspective in my life.



I do that because I believe that dreams are like letters being passed from one state of consciousness to another. Dreams are my natural way of taking what I try to suppress and forget about, and bringing it to the surface so that I have to deal with it and put it out of my head. Being able to process those dreams is important in my life because I have to deal with them.

Last night, I had a couple of dreams that just irritated the piss out of me. I woke up this morning, almost in tears because of the intensity that they caused me to feel. I don't know why these dreams came into my head, but apparently I had to process thru them and get past them because I had been frustrated about them. As I am writing, I still feel upset by them, but as I write, that feel is also going away.

I just felt I had to write something about this. My dreams were extremely intense.

Disappointed, but not Surprised...

This morning, after falling asleep knowing that Barack Obama was elected and having the feeling of relief that our world is heading in a new direction, I was brought back to earth with a phone call from my father, in Arkansas (which as we know, went for McCain).

Me: Hello, Dad.
Dad: Did you vote for that N****R?

Me: Yes, I did.
Dad: That is stupid to vote for him.

Me: That is your choice to feel that way, but I voted the way I wanted to.
Dad: I hope that n****r treats the country the way they treated me.

Me: You have the right to feel anyway you want to, dad.
Dad: At least I live in a state that is smarter than the rest of the country.

Me: Why do you say that?
Dad: Because Arkansas voted for McCain.

Me: These are the same people that told me that I am not allowed to adopt a child, whether I am gay or straight. They told your son that I can't adopt. I am sorry, but I don't trust the judgement of Arkansas people, especially with voting for the President.
Dad: Well, they were smart enough to vote for someone other than that n****r.

Me: Did you vote at all dad?
Dad: No, I didn't. I don't ever vote.

Me: Then I am not talking about this anymore. I refuse to have a conversation with you and let you bitch when you didn't even vote.
Dad: Ok, I love you son.

Me: I love you too dad. *end call*

The reason for this post is to show where I grew up and what I grew up with. I fully expected to have a conversation like this when I went home for Thanksgiving, but he threw me off guard when I woke up and was getting a phone call from him, just to talk about that.

This is a prime example of how the world is going to change. Most people my fathers age are set in stone, bigot, hypocrit, racist, stubborn, hate-mongers. They grew up in a time when it was acceptable to hate people because of the color of their skin. That is not the case today.

I am very proud that I do not share that view of the world with my father. He taught me many things in life, such as my work ethic, my values towards my country, my views on family and friends, and I am grateful for that; however, I refuse to accept the ways of hatred and prejudice that he tried to instill in me. It didn't work then and it won't work now.